I'm BACK!

I'm going to be honest with you all. I've been scared. I thought I was seeing some symptoms of a terrible situation that I have been in, in the past. A lot of times before, I've written a few thousand words, gotten a little stale, forced through it, fell out of it, moved on to something else, and never gone back. I have been absolutely TERRIFIED that I was about to lose The Circle.

It wasn't just The Circle I was losing interest in. I suppose I was just going through a phase of distraction in general. I haven't wanted to post because even though I have been writing, I wasn't making progress on anything special. I've written a few words on my as of yet untitled psychological horror novel. Some on a short story that I meant to submit to a contest. Some on a few old projects, and I've even started a few new ones. But a hundred words added to everything still doesn't count for much.

NOW! I found it. I found my drive and inspiration again. My muse is back, and I am writing again. Thank God! I was actually going crazy with my inability to write more than a hundred words in one sitting. I was forcing out as many as possible, never giving up, but nothing was happening. I wish I knew what changed my mind. I wish I had a miracle cure, in case this happens again.

Sorry for the rather scattered-ness of this blog post. I'm back in the writing groove, but this isn't what I want to be writing right now. I'm off to go write down what my characters are doing, before they run away again.

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Burn Out

That focus on one story thing that I was doing for The Circle? It's not working out for me. I'm burnt out. Creatively stifled. Just not feeling the story. I have been craving some good writing time, but every time I open The Circle, I look around and find something else to do, or else I force out a few paragraphs of crap. Forcing it just wasn't working out for me.

So, I've made a decision. I'm NOT going to give up on The Circle. I'm NOT going to totally put it away. BUT I'm going to allow myself to work on something else. Another idea that has been haunting me for about a year. That isn't long, for me. I like to let things stew in my head for a bit. Usually I have a story in there for several years before I actually get off my ass and try to write it.

I may have hinted at it before (Have I ever mentioned my memory is utter crap?) or maybe I never did. It's a sort of psychological horror, about an elementary school teacher with a bubble gum addiction. No, in case you're wondering, the gum has nothing to do with anything. I mention it because I just now found it out, when Renee DeLuca (that's her name!) started chewing yet another piece of gum.

I'm struggling with it already. I know I mentioned a long time ago that I have trouble with titles. This extends to naming characters. It's never much of an issue with my main characters. They usually pop into my head mostly-whole, with a first name, appearance, and some bits of personality. Sometimes they have a last name, sometimes their personality is fully formed, sometimes there are other things.

Minor characters, however, usually don't have all that. I usually have one bit of information on them: either a purpose/profession, a personality, an appearance. Something. But it's never much, and it's hardly enough to give them a name. Renee DeLuca's story (which is unnamed, as usual) revolves mostly around her in the classroom, as a second grade teacher. Obviously her students, at least some of them, will need names. I've got nothing. They've got a purpose, but most of them don't have personalities, or appearances. I could go on Facebook and say "Make up some names and personalities for second graders" but that almost feels like cheating. It's fine to ask for names, but asking them for personalities too?

Well anyways, I'm enjoying writing this new piece. I'm still working on The Circle, and.... things are good. Have a lovely day!

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The Beauty of Re-writes

The version of The Circle I'm working on, was originally my Nanowrimo novel. I did not win it. I was only at around 13,000 words. I added a ton more that December, and January, and then started another draft at some point. Can't remember the date on it. That means, this draft is actually the second draft (except the end which I haven't written yet at all).

Some days I write without looking at my first draft. Other days, like today, I flip back and forth between the drafts. The great thing about this is, that you pick up on things you never noticed before. Things that don't quite make sense, or things that are almost way-too-much-of-a-cliche to exist.

For example, today I was writing the after effects of a fight scene. Missy, my narrator and main character (I've probably said that in several posts. This is the last time I'll mention it, I promise) was doing a LOT of running. She isn't a runner by any stretch of imagination. There is no logical way that she could do that much running without hurting the next day. And yet, in the first draft, after all that running, several miles worth, she's fine. No aches, no sores. She's not even unusually tired.... or at least, she wasn't. She will be now.

I love finding logic errors like that, because the more I find, the less will be in my final draft. It's only a little thing, but it's still something.

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Twin Drafts

Working hard on The Circle again, but I've got two matching drafts. Right now I'm focusing on the one I call "Christine's Surprise."

So why two drafts? Glad you asked. You may remember from my earlier post that Christine is pregnant. I've made peace with her internal debate over keeping the baby, but that didn't solve all my Christine's-Pregnancy-Related-Issues. This one I have been dealing with even longer than the abortion issue, but I figured it would sort itself out. I still think that eventually it will sort itself out, but this blog is about my writing process, so I thought I would share what's going on with all this.

I'm not sure how exactly Christine finds out she's pregnant. I have two different drafts with two different scenarios, neither of which I like. Originally, Christine confided in Missy as soon as she was suspicious, Missy got her a home pregnancy test, and when it came out positive, they went to the doctor. This is the way Christine and Missy handed it naturally.

However, in the end, Christine's pregnancy is only mildly important. It's such a minor part of the story that I almost feel guilty having all that build up for nothing. So I cut it all out. Christine thinks that "something is wrong" but doesn't say what. She goes straight to a doctor and finds out that she's pregnant. This works better plot-wise, but it's not the way that Christine would handle things. Call me crazy, but my characters are real people, and I don't like to force them to do things. If she wants to confide in Missy, let her.

Right now I have two drafts, and really wish I knew which one worked better. After a while it not longer matters how she found out, so I have skipped that bit for now and am working on what scenes come after. Sometimes it's best to let things sit and stew before you make a decision, and that's what I have here. I have written two beginnings for now, and wont touch them again for a while.

And a quick note on the subject of letting things stew, I have a few new story book ideas in the works. More about them in another post.

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Titles are Terrors!

Everyone has their quirks. Things that they obsess over. Some people spend forever naming their characters. For me, it's titles.

I can never come up with a title I'm satisfied with. Not for a short story, a book, or even a blog post. The blog title here, Making Waves, came from a friend's suggestion. I have working titles for most of the things I write, but I wouldn't want to really publish under any of those names. Most of them are the names of the lead character, or else the main setting. Baby, Cammie, and a second draft Cammmmmmmie, CaraInHospital, Celeste, Chapter1, Chapt1, ChapterOne, (I can't remember what those are!) Fire, Grandparnets (yes with the misspelling), Jess, JohnRook, StellaSuccubus, MrButtons, and NicolsAnna are the names of all the stories I've started that haven't been sorted into my subfolders. I'm usually crazy about organizing my folders but these are things that I'm not sure about yet. 9 of the 15 have names in them, or 10 if you count the one that should be Grandparents.

My point? I suck at titles. The books in my as-of-yet-unnamed Series all have bad titles.
1) Plague (because it's about a plague)
2) Enemy (because its about two people who are enemies in war, but friends in reality)
3) Reysore (because it's set in a place called the Reysore Colony. There originally was another book after this one but I think I will combine them.)
4) The Circle (Because it talks about an organization called The Circle. I'm creative, aren't I?)

What am I going to do if I ever try to publish? Titles are terrors. Will a publisher help me with that? Or do I need to find myself someone who is good at titles to read and title it first?

And what do I call the series? That's what started my mind on this course to begin with. I want a name for the series. That's all.

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Age Appropriate

How do you know if something is age appropriate in a book? My book, The Circle, is YA, and that's recently put a bit of a hold on my writing. By definition YA is 14-20. However, I remember reading YA books when I was 8. I'm certain that my book isn't appropriate for the standard 8 year old. I wrote a few thousand words, and moved beyond a key scene. But now I want to go back and get rid of it to make it more age appropriate for your standard 8 year old.

Even when I was a kid, I found myself second guessing everyone I said to kids younger than myself. I couldn't remember what I had known about when. I was afraid to swear for fear that they would be scared. I found dirty jokes to be the funniest thing ever, but I was afraid if I even hinted at them around kids a little younger than me, that I would either confuse them or horrify the. When I was 12 I wrote in giant letters in my diary "TWELVE IS ENOUGH" meaning that if I was talking to someone who was 12 or older, I shouldn't be afraid of saying something that the kids didn't know. Those words have stuck out in my head since then. I remember eating lunch at school with my best friends and making all sorts of sexual jokes. Pointing out second meanings of things, and swearing like a sailor, just because I knew that school lunches were minimally supervised and I could get away with it. The funny thing is that I was the "good girl" the one who wasn't supposed to know about anything. The one who at 16, you'd still wonder whether she had even heard of sex.

I'm not 12 anymore, and I'm thoroughly embarrassed thinking about all I said then. I'm questioning the wisdom of "Twelve is enough." I'm also wondering how deep into it I can go, logically with my writing. I'm not talking specifically about sex, but things that surround it. One my characters, Christine is pregnant. Christine isn't a kid, she's 30, but she's childishly stubborn, and refuses to take responsibility for her actions. On top of that she is ashamed of her pregnancy, because of her current life situation. She confides in Missy, my narrator who IS just a kid. Christine is considering abortion. I'm considering skipping that part of the story. Unfortunately that puts a huge plot hole in the story. If Christine isn't pregnant adn questioning abortion, the events following it wouldn't happen the way that they did. So she HAS to be pregnant. and she HAS to be considering abortion. Should I just scrap that whole bit and then try and find another logical reason for hte events that follow? Should I just scrap the events that follow adn change the entire plot-line of the entire story? Or should I just say I don't care about the 8 year olds who read my story. But then what about the non-8-year-olds who find it inappropriate to even put a controversial topic into something like this? Because I'm sure there are a few. I'm actually quite certain family members of mine wouldn't approve, and I really do want my family to approve.

I know the standard rule is "Don't write for the reader, write for yourself," but how can I be proud of my book if everyone I know thinks I crossed an uncrossable?

This is unfinished. I haven't yet decided what to do. I'll touch back on this once I figure out what the right thing to do is. Meanwhile, I'd totally love to hear your take on this.

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